Just when you think it’s going well, there’s always that spanner in the works. I’ve honestly just come to terms with this new job. I’d had a breakdown. I can see that now and the root cause was the building pressures of racism. The tupe of you half to work twice as hard to get half the pay type racism. Half the pressure was to perform.

I’d moved from one place to another and just started to relax. That was my first mistake. My other mistake was believing that people are what they say they are. Maya said

I should have believed her! Sometimes, I look at people and think, “Are you a natural bastard or did you become that way because something happened?” We are in a cost of living crisis and people are acting real cutthroat at the minute – especially in the workplace.

I see it everywhere I go and I hear it more and more when I speak to friends. Once upon a time, inevitable discussions about workplace politics that always recognised that there’s “always one in the team”! Now it seems like it’s the whole damn team! This is especially true if you are a black woman.

Racism and more specifically, misogynoir, is on the rise. It’s not even hidden anymore and it comes from all parties and I, for one am sick of it. It is a fight I can no longer entertain. I’m tired and racism is relentless. The amount of energy it takes to be this level of demonic is astounding. We’re invisible until people need to feel better about themselves. Inevitably and predictably the isms rear their ugly head and come to the fore. And tirelessly, when you point it out, then come the well-scripted tears of fragility. Stop lying to yoursrlves and stop trying to convince us through the lies.

And the stretch of the gaslighting and lies takes on an international reach. At the time of writing, I am consumed with images and film coming from Palestine. I cannot believe we are now living in a world where we have to question a ceasefire on a literal genocide. Nobody wants war. People want equal rights and justice. People just want to live, feed their kids – if they have them, eat well, pay their bills and if it can be stretched, go on a holiday or two each year. I want to get back to blogging but I couldn’t restart this without mentioning Palestine. And if there’s any confusion.

I’m feeling the frustration, overwhelm and hurt and I’m at a loss. Maybe you can suggest techniques to cope. In the meantime I send love and light in an otherwise dark world.

Wanting more… for all of us!

Tricia ❤️🖤🤍💚