Let me start and paint the picture of my relationship with social media. When social media was this brand new shiny thing, I used social media to discuss issues, post thoughts and just general madness. It was a great way to connect with people who I wouldn’t ordinarily have the chance to connect with. The optimist in me saw that you could literally change the world if you wanted to. This was pre-trolls/ bots and I have gotten into a fair few heated arguments but I’m a Taurus, so I’m (almost) always never wrong. 2020 isolation social media was my friend but then in the post-lockdown era, I’ve started to realise a few things; and maybe it was always this way but I’m just a little bit fed up….

*Please note, this is not me cussing out social media in it’s entirety, this is more a case of venting my frustrations without cussing out too many people!*

Everybody’s right and Nobody, absolutely Nobody’s wrong: Ignore my opening statement on being a Taurus. I can be wrong on very rare occasions. This has got to be my number 1 pet peeve on social media. It’s the place where wrong and strong reside. I swear these “debate groups” were set up solely for the purpose of letting a bunch of egos have a cockfight. People can spend days speaking on imaginary scenarios that don’t exist all because this individualistic notion that the timeline is “your space” and how dare anyone contradict your worldview – even if it is a load of crap. Hell, I used to be one of them, simply because I, like an idiot, thought I could change hearts and minds. That can only go so far when a di*khead is surrounded by a bunch of other di*kheads who fuel their ego.

The absolutisms wrapped up in a meme of “logic” from the graduates of Youtube University: I first noticed this bullshit in the very early days of Facebook. There was this copy and paste post going around saying that if someone was on your friend’s list and they weren’t responding to your posts, they were just lurking, aka just haters. The level of ego in that was so deep – nobody is watching you that hard. Stop judging people by your bullshit standards and have you not heard of these things called algorithms?

And speaking of bullshit…: We had the 5g causes covid bullshit – despite a long campaign depicting Chinese people eating bats, plastic cabbage and plastic rice a good few years before the Kraken was released. This was quickly followed by the flat earth bullshit. I swear someone posted a flat earth meme that was a depiction of the Game of Thrones universe! I don’t mind diverse views – in fact, I welcome them but when you don’t have education or training or even an interest in specific areas of science, social justice, politics… well all I’m going to say is do your research beyond a YouTube rabbit hole! And look for diverse views that may not always fall into your confirmation bias.

The general lack of critical thinking is rife: This sort of takes me back to point number one. I’m not expecting deep academic pieces on everything but almost Nobody wants to think about what they are saying anymore. Now there’s a couple of things in this. The first is that people are very individualistic “it’s my timeline, I can say what I want” even when they ask for an opinion; or as one “celebrity” told me “I don’t care what you think, I know what I know and I know that I’m right.” Ironically, there was no doubt that she was right about the thing but the response was a little pissy. Secondly, people want a full-on thesis because if you do not spell it all out,they try to pick holes in everything you say; so conversations end up looking like this:

People do not ask questions or qualify their responses. Equally, you cannot assume that everybody knows what you know. Imagine I had a person nitpicking on nearly everything that I said… for years; only to then see him post a video on something that formed the basis of my thinking as if it was something new. I assumed he knew, hence his continually irritating stance but no, he just couldn’t be arsed to even Google research where I was coming from.

The isms and phobias are rife but everyone’s in denial: Whether it’s misogynoir, racism, colourism Bi/ Trans/ Homo-phobia that ish is rife. The worse part is that everybody is in denial of it all. Having studied some of this stuff and also consciously working to incorporate anti-discrimination into everything I do, I know an ism when I see it. George Floyd’s death made me realise how certain people perceived black people – above and beyond paid bots, there was general hate that I have never witnessed. The dismissal of black lives and the denial of their inherent racism was deep. Then the speed with which people will fight against black women to “humble” them was also another bugbear but again it’s met with denial because Andrew Tate, Kevin Samuels and the rest are their idols form their critical thinking. The rise of these people in correlation to the rise in domestic violence and violence against women and girls is real but everybody is in denial, so I must be wrong – except I’m a Taurus and I’m (almost) never wrong!

This idea that rudeness is acceptable: Honestly, I’m not a prude but there are a lot of people who feel very comfortable behind a screen or on their phone saying things that they wouldn’t be so bold to say in person, mainly because you’d catch a swift kick up the jacksy. I can say online what I say offline because I am authentic. It’s only at this big old age that I’m realising the enormity of the lack of authenticity that comes online and presents as someone being the fount of all knowledge whilst being an absolute nob. It is actually a skill.

But saying all of that… My relationship with social media won’t stop because 1. We’re here now and 2. I have made some fantastic connections online across the world. Block and delete are my friend (especially on Insta) if some hobnobbit acts obtuse. I have reduced the time I spend on social media. I have distanced myself from the toxic people in debate/ discussion type groups and imaginary scenario posts. There were a few discussions and individuals that were just there to antagonise and it felt a little 2014 for me, so I dropped out. I’ll have my say but I’m really up for the craic now (ask your Irish friends).

So for now, I blog for the hell of it and hope that you enjoy it. I don’t think I can change the world but I can change my world and hope a handful of people come along for the ride. But please if I haven’t been on social media for a minute, please don’t assume the worst, I am still out there.

And for all of you that have been dope… thank you!

Tricia xx