So we’ve reached the year 2020!! Are you excited?? Well as I sit here writing, I know that I AM ready!! I decided once and for all that all of the following will be completed this year

Decluttering: It has been an ongoing issue and I am totally sick of it. Decluttering for me truly is the physical manifestation of built up issues that I have procrastinated on. Up until last year, I thought that I had been decluttering. Every now and then I would throw out stuff or tidy up the chaos and feel better about it but then something happened. It suddenly hit me that I wasn’t throwing enough away to make the difference that I wanted. I had gone to my mums for a couple of nights and when I saw the difference at my house, I realised why I was so bloody angry. Clutter does nothing for you. It does your head in and for me, at least, I felt that it was blocking my blessings. It was uninviting. It was a reason to hide. With clutter it was easier to meet other people outside of the house. The day I went back to my mums, the frustration and the headache was too much. Nothing was changing and I was going around in circles. Half the crap that I was trying to clear out was actually his but I had to come up with a plan because up until this point all I had been doing was getting passionate and emotional about shit that wasn’t really bringing me any joy. From December I started to get brutal. I threw out years worth of statements, old artwork that I couldn’t remember why I had hung onto it. I’d make a dent in it and then came home from my Mum’s at Christmas only to replace the dent with new toys, clothes and presents. But 2020 is my year of determination and getting shit done. I it will be completed within a set timeframe.

Marriage: The less I say on this the better (I’m not ready) but I will let you know that it is not a pretty picture and at some point, when I can actually compartmentalise the current madness of it all, I will definitely blog on it. Needless to say the Serenity Prayer is coming in really handy at the moment and I am plucking up the courage to change the things that I can; because in all honesty, I lacked the wisdom of knowing the difference between where courage and serenity needed to be applied.

Motherhood: Another area that I am constantly scrutinising and berating myself for. I am lucky in that I have incredible children that are truly I understanding of the situation. Sometimes they ask questions that I cannot answer but they also get answers that I cannot wrap up in anything but the truth. Then I worry about the impact that this may have on them.

Being organised: This in part comes with the clutter. So theoretically, once there is clarity in one area, it will naturally follow that this will fall into place. I am a naturally organised person but I know that somewhere along the line of my life, that went left-field and no matter the cause for this, stress and more stress didn’t help. That said, one thing that I have realised in life is that those that cause the hurt or anxiety that slows you down, really don’t give a toss about the hurt or anxiety that they’ve caused and happily get on with life whilst you lick your wounds. That’s not to say that you bury the hurt or anxiety, but whatever you do, DO NOT QUIT!

Killing it!!: Fair to say, I am a feisty woman. Fire literally runs through my veins and somewhere along the line, I lost my enthusiasm for life. Very few people got this and whatever the depression was that I was going through was some serious bullshit that I never want to go through again. I want to be that prolific reader again. That wanton spirit that laughed with freedom and glint in my eye. I want to build these blogs (I actually find it a relaxing outlet under my current circumstances) and make a contribution to the lives of others whilst being able to live a life free of worries. I want to push myself out of my comfort zone. And I have started doing those things and if I’m honest, I am actually really excited by it.

2019 was a year of changes and awakenings in a huge way. Word have been exchanged. Things have been said and hurt has been caused. There comes a point where the you just have to accept that some things will not be what you thought they would be So with that in mind, I am embracing a new type of happiness and excitement. This is my first venture into the new age Roaring Twenties and I want it to be fun. So I hope that you can join us for a weekly Sunday read and we will be doing more on the blog, some cooking, getting a few jokes about parenting and just trying to make the best of this thing called life.

Speak soon xx

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